You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
