If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
