My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
