That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
