i think my tv is drunk
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This house was built for laser tag.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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