I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
