By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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