okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
