I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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