i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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