Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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