dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Is it because I queefed?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
