Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So many bounce houses so little time
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
