Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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