Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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