My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
