Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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