found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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