I'm really into asian looking animals
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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