I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
