? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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