Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize
