I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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