Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
