drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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