If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
