Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
well you can't waste a boner
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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