i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
