Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
