i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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