I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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