What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Then you guys just all showered together...?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
