just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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