I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
