For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
