Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
