Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
