Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
