in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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