So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
