They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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