so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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