Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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