Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
