Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
