he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
