Where did you get a picture of my penis
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
