i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The Olympian is in my bed
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
