just come out here and I will go home with you...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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