sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
