It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i dont even know how to be here
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
