i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
