Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
