Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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